The development of a sense of identity requires individuation or separation from family. Separation from family does not indicate a lack of connectedness with the family, but rather indicates the adolescent's need to have an identity separate from the family. Family connectedness can be promoted in a number of ways, such as parents' taking an interest in a teen's activities, spending time together or having family meals. Family connectedness has been shown to be the most important factor in positive outcomes for teens (Blum & Reinhardt, 1997).

Early adolescence (11-13 year olds) marks the beginning of developing a separate identity from the family. Close relationships with peers develop. These peer relationships are primarily same sex with strong solitary friendships developing. These young teens are preoccupied with their appearance and have numerous questions about normalcy and tend to look to peers for answers. They are uncertain about their developing identity and can't appreciate what they think about themselves. The peer group provides the external validation that they so acutely need (Strasburger, 2000).

Middle adolescents (14-17 year olds) are less preoccupied with questions of normalcy. These teens are concerned with making themselves as attractive as possible and have concerns about clothing and makeup. Involvement in peer groups increases, and further separation from family occurs. Dating relationships and experimentation with sex occur during this period. Feelings of omnipotence and immortality are at a peak in this group, leading to risk-taking behaviors.

Clearly, two of the goals for the adolescent period are developing a sense of identity, separate from one's parents; as well as learning how to establish relationships with others. The other two goals are entwined: preparing to finish one's formal education and developing vocational plans for the future. As was the case when they were younger, school continues to be the "work" of the adolescent, but the focus is more sharply on success, figuring out a career path and the future. Bonny, Brittoe, Klosterman, Hornung, & Slap (2000) found that "school connectedness": feeling a sense of caring at school, has a direct relationship to better academic performance, more extracurricular involvement as well as a decrease in alcohol and cigarette use. Helping an adolescent feel connected has important implications for facilitating the achievement of their educational and vocational goals.

Finally, as teens enter late adolescence (18-21 year olds), if all has progressed satisfactorily, they are well on the way to separating from family and establishing identity. It's getting there that can be difficult! This is especially true for teens who are defined by some segments of the larger society or their peers as "being different" (i.e., gay, bisexual or questioning youth; youth with special needs; youth who have recently immigrated; disenfranchised youth -- homeless, abused or neglected youth; etc.). These youth not only have to grapple with the "normal" pressures of adolescence, they have the extra burden of establishing a sense of self in the midst of additional pressures. In other words, while they are expected to develop a positive sense of self and pride in who they are, they are also expected to fit certain "so-called norms" -- even though those "norms" may be in direct contradiction to who they are. These conflicting messages prove to be too much for some adolescents. They may react by completely disassociating from their peers, family and/or the larger community; developing a facade to make themselves more acceptable to others; or participating in self depreciating or "acting out" behaviors that lead to further ostracism. Others, however, are able to put these conflicting messages into perspective, and somehow develop a positive sense of self. The question becomes: What makes some adolescents more resilient than others?

A relatively new framework for looking at adolescent development, The Developmental Assets Model, may provide some clues. However, it should be used in conjunction with other, perhaps more familiar frameworks, such as Bright Futures (Green & Palfrey, 2000) and the American Medical Association's (AMA) Guidelines for Adolescent Preventive Services (Levenberg & Elster, 1995). Each has its own unique value.

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