Common Problems in Negotiation

What if your negotiations are getting further away from what you need? One approach that helps this process is called BATNA, or Best Alternative To a Negotiated Agreement. The BATNA represents a "walk away" point. If you can't get what you really would like to have to satisfy your needs, at what point do you leave the negotiation without giving everything up? In the case of the car deal, there is a monthly payment the buyer doesn't want to exceed, a color that absolutely does not convey "sporty", and a maintenance and repair report that he considers too risky to purchase. But aside from these exceptions, maybe there is a car that he hasn't thought of that satisfies his needs, and completes the transaction in less than three hours for the salesman. However you arrive at it, you should know your walk away point in advance.

What if the other side won't negotiate openly with you? There are several actions you could consider. If you are stuck, agree to take a break. Give yourselves some time before walking away from the conflict. Something else may occur to you to help move you both forward. Remember, negotiation is a process with no rules, and it can feel awkward and messy in the middle. Maybe it is time to re-evaluate your BATNA or talk with someone else. Step up a level, and see yourself as an actor. Are you being as open as you possibly can be? Change the flow of the discussion and ask the other side to tell you what is wrong with your offer. Ask her how her solution satisfies both of your needs. Make it easy to say yes by adding some non-consequential items. Be flexible and stay open to the possibility that the other side's offer may actually satisfy your own interests.

Allow the other person to save face. Face saving is one of the most important points is conflict management, and should not be discounted as a trivial issue. Oftentimes people so strongly identify with a position or issue that they interpret your lack of response to their position to be a personal attack. Seldom if ever are these dynamics addressed openly, but an increase in defensive, resistive behavior when everything appeared to be going so well may signal the perception of a face attack. And finally, if you are negotiating by yourselves, consider whether the addition of a neutral third person would help. It is not a sign of weakness to ask others to come in and help. It shows that you value the ongoing relationship and the future possibilities more than the difficulty in working things out.